okay so ridic thing someone should write for me
- Tony hate hate hates magic, right?
- it makes no sense it’s not science it doesn’t work but it does work…
- WHY THE FUCK DOES IT WORK?!?!?!
- Tony does ‘magic’ research on the side because he firmly believes that any sufficently advanced tech is indistinguishable from magic and that means
- MAGIC IS TECH
- TONY IS KING OF TECH
- TONY WILL HACK MAGIC OR DIE TRYING
- in the course of his research Tony buys something that is claimed to be a dragon’s egg
- Tony thinks it’s neat, makes some Mogwai jokes, sticks it under a heat lamp, expecting a lizard to come out
- Thor sees a pic of Tony’s lab
- recognizes the egg as an actual dragon egg
- AND PROMPTLY FREAKS THE FUCK OUT
- BECAUSE THIS SPECIES OF DRAGON
- (of course there are more than one species of dragon, I pity your ignorance earthling, get thee to a library)
- IMPRINTS ON THE FIRST PERSON IT SEES AND IT’S NOT JUST ‘THAT’S MY MAMA’
- THEIR PERSONALITY, MORALITY, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT IS BASED ON THAT FIRST IMPRESSION
- Thor may not be the brightest blade to grace the universe but he is really, really not stupid and thinks a dragon based on Tony Stark is a BAD IDEA
- so he flies over to the Tower in a panic
- only to find that it’s all right
- it’s okay
- the dragon’s hatched
- and the first person it ever saw was Pepper
I made an actual out-loud whimper of joy at that last line.
YES. GIMME THIS STORY. GIMMIE DRAGON PEPPER
Here’s a basic rule: if you’re reading or watching a Shakespeare play, and you’re not imagining the actors standing in front of a mosh pit of jeering Londoners waiting to throw vegetables at the stage, you’re doing it wrong.
Shakespeare might have written the best works in the English language, or given us profound insight into the nature of humanity, or whatever — but his works wouldn’t have survived to our day if he hadn’t been popular when he was alive, and he wouldn’t have been popular when he was alive if he hadn’t been able to please the crowd. And that includes a lot of dirty jokes. A lot.
Sometimes in incredibly inappropriate places. We’re here to rescue a few of those for you, and retroactively embarrass the heck out of your fourteen-year-old self, who had to stand up in English class and read things that, in retrospect, are absolutely filthy.
This isn’t about the stuff that always does crack fourteen-year-olds up in English class, but is totally innocent: the “bring me my long sword, ho!” sort of thing.
But the kids who lose it every time the word “ho” is uttered are closer to the spirit of Shakespeare than the teacher who demands they treat the words like museum pieces.
Sure, it would be awkward for teachers to explain the Elizabethan double entendres to their students — but pretending they don’t exist makes Shakespeare seem unnecessarily stuffy and difficult.
So we’re going to start with the most obvious innuendoes, and move on to some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind.”
one of my favourite things about stagings at The Globe is that they leave the filthy jokes and jokes at inappropriate moments in so you’re constantly being thrown back and forth between bloody murder and hysterics.
I actually read Midsummer Night’s Dream with my Advanced 6th graders last year, totally uncut. And I didn’t explain ALL of the jokes to them…but I did explain some.
And let me tell you, watching those kids stammer and blush through all of “Bottom has an Ass Head” jokes was god damn priceless.
I’ve always been confused as to why people didn’t like Shakespeare, but now i’m hearing that people get taught it WITHOUT THE JOKES???? Seriously, I knew I had some awesome high school english teachers, but appearently, they were even more awesome then I knew.
Also, the annotated Shakespeare books are great—they give notes on jokes, historical context, puns and words that are straight up made up to help people read shakespeare for the first time. I got those in 7th grade when my parents saw that I was interested in Shakespeare plays. It made me a giant shakespeare nerd, and also made me face-palm when i hear things like the above and just wonder what the teachers thought they were doing.
Just to have it all in one place, here’s the full list of links to the ficlets in this series.
Summary: Bucky is a fashion photographer and pines over Steve for roughly four years. It’s all as angsty and ridiculous as it sounds.
- Bucky’s Gay Epiphany
- Bucky is Closeted and Angsts
- Bucky’s Portfolio of Pining
- Bucky is Uncloseted and Angsts
- Angst-free interlude: Steve and the Shirt
- Bucky and the Birthday
- Bucky’s Theological Discussion
- Everyone Pines and Angsts
- Bucky Has Poor Impulse Control
- All’s Well That Ends Well
ETA: Now with an Epilogue
This fucking fic is amazing and i don’t care. Read it for the titles alone. Yes, those are the “chapter” titles.
Anonymous said: So, I finished reading the Demon's Lexicon trilogy last night and I am in a glass case of emotions and there is very little fanfiction I find appealing and I am annoyed at the world. Help.
Nonny. NONNY. Let me tell you right here and now that I feel your pain. FEEL IT. I have read those books like 4 times each, and I know well the pit of despair one falls into when the realization hits that there is just no more.
BUT NICK! Your heart cries out. ALAN! Your dreams taunt. SIN! Your soul yearns. JAMIE! Your shattered innocence wails. MAE! Your mind sobs, inconsolably.
Well, NEVER FEAR, my lovely! I have come to temporarily soothe (and eternally add to) your suffering with the revelation that SRB, that cruel heartbreaker of an author, did indeed HERSELF write short stories in TDL universe!
Nick’s First Word (A Christmas Story)
Sorcerer and Stone Part 1
Sorcerer and Stone Part 2
The Arundel Tomb
Quiet In The House
Nick And Jamie Go To The Movies
The Coward With A Kiss
All The Way Back Where We Started From
Look, I am here to tell you that these stories are all A++, 10/10, would read again (I may or may not have read them all at least 3 times, and some of them like 6 times). And, look, I don’t mean to be Judgey McJudgerson, but if “Quiet In the House” doesn’t leave you with a bone-deep well of sadness and/or make you sob uncontrollably, then you are probably dead inside. (Or you are Sarah Rees Brennan herself, who is filled with a dark and terrible power that only grows stronger by the strength of our anguish and tears.) (Alternatively, you’re Nick, in which case: Hey, bae, how are you? Car good? Excellent. Any new, gorgeous blades? Tell me about what’s made you dryly amused lately.)
So, my dear anon, go forth and ruin yourself! Also, come here and talk to me about these books and characters some more. PLEASE. Tell me all about stuff you love and everything incredible in those pages because I LOVE THESE BOOKS SO MUCH SOOOO MUUUUUCH.
Aw, that is very lovely! And that list is proof that I always write wayyyyy too much, but I am so glad if people like it!
… Also, I am totes filled with a dark and terrible power. That’s canon.
Rebageling for my Pookie.